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If I seemed easy to ignore, it’s because I just stopped talking
I left my thoughts to tend to themselves, it didn’t feel like rotting
But this silence this quiet it doesn’t solve my problems, it just enables them
I’ve allowed myself to become complacent
And now I can’t seem to connect
Have I lost you?
Or have I lost myself by beating myself down
Bleeding weekly in strangers’ basements
In stranger places than I ever wanted to go?
And now it’s cold again
I’m disappointed and tired and low
I want the summer songs
I want to feel connected but I don’t know how
I give up again
I’m done trying to change
I’ll just retreat to my room and write these suicidal songs
That you’ll never read along to
They’ll never reach you